There are times when kids get uncontrollable, and we feel like yelling. After having to do household chores and office work, small bit of paper thrown out of place can throw you away.
Does yelling work ?
When I think back, and when I was a child, I used to skip a beat when somebody would yell at me.
So whether it works or not, it affects the child's heart, ears obviously and many other things we may not perceive like BP, brain.
Yelling seems to have an instant effect. But the question is - is it permanent, sustainable solution.
Answer is No. So once child gets used to your decibel levels, you have to shout higher to get his attention.
Yelling leads to more yelling...may be till neighbours start yelling at us.
As research says "Long-term exposure to shouting can result in fear, stress, anxiety, insomnia, developmental delays, behavioural problems, academic problems, social difficulties, emotional issues and thwarted coping skills".
Forget about research, what effect does it have on the yeller. Parent has his/her BP high, tense facial
muscles, stressed time and overall pissed off life.
Why yelling does not work ?
1. Child hears the shout and loses the message.
2. Incredible moments can happen when you don’t yell
When I dont yell and talk softly i realize the beautiful moments.
Everyday my son looks into my eyes and tells me genuinely that he loves me, and exactly few minutes back I wanted to yell.
3. Psychological impact - Either child yells back or child learns that he needs to be yelled to at to do the task or child gets used to being submissive.
I believe that Kids are miniature adults. Yelling doesnt work with adults, so it does not work with kids either. Too much Logic I presume.
Yelling is not a strategy, it is the lack of it.
How do we stop yelling ?
1.Just whisper. It sounds weird, we know. But if your child has to strain to hear you, he's less likely to tune you out. And it's nearly impossible to sound angry (and scary) when you're speaking softly.
2. Taking care of yourself. Personal triggers like feeling overweight, feeling disconnected from friends, and feeling exhausted lead me to yell.
I started going to bed earlier, prioritizing exercise, trying to call one friend a day, having hobbies and most importantly, I started telling myself it’s okay to not be perfect.
Taking care of yourself not only helps you not to yell, but it also makes me happier, more relaxed, and more loving.
Ah, the benefits of not yelling extend far beyond parenting! There is no doubt that I am in a better parenting and personal place now that I don’t yell.
Just to name a few unexpected benefits of not yelling: I do more random acts of kindness, I handle stressful situations more gracefully, and I communicate more lovingly with my husband.
3. Ask the right question. Find out what is the child's problem.
Why does he the behave the way he does.
4. Minimize marriage spats. You and your spouse should agree to handle your next argument differently. Walk away from kids if you both are going to fight.
Does yelling work ?
When I think back, and when I was a child, I used to skip a beat when somebody would yell at me.
So whether it works or not, it affects the child's heart, ears obviously and many other things we may not perceive like BP, brain.
Yelling seems to have an instant effect. But the question is - is it permanent, sustainable solution.
Answer is No. So once child gets used to your decibel levels, you have to shout higher to get his attention.
Yelling leads to more yelling...may be till neighbours start yelling at us.
As research says "Long-term exposure to shouting can result in fear, stress, anxiety, insomnia, developmental delays, behavioural problems, academic problems, social difficulties, emotional issues and thwarted coping skills".
Forget about research, what effect does it have on the yeller. Parent has his/her BP high, tense facial
muscles, stressed time and overall pissed off life.
Why yelling does not work ?
1. Child hears the shout and loses the message.
2. Incredible moments can happen when you don’t yell
When I dont yell and talk softly i realize the beautiful moments.
Everyday my son looks into my eyes and tells me genuinely that he loves me, and exactly few minutes back I wanted to yell.
3. Psychological impact - Either child yells back or child learns that he needs to be yelled to at to do the task or child gets used to being submissive.
I believe that Kids are miniature adults. Yelling doesnt work with adults, so it does not work with kids either. Too much Logic I presume.
Yelling is not a strategy, it is the lack of it.
How do we stop yelling ?
1.Just whisper. It sounds weird, we know. But if your child has to strain to hear you, he's less likely to tune you out. And it's nearly impossible to sound angry (and scary) when you're speaking softly.
2. Taking care of yourself. Personal triggers like feeling overweight, feeling disconnected from friends, and feeling exhausted lead me to yell.
I started going to bed earlier, prioritizing exercise, trying to call one friend a day, having hobbies and most importantly, I started telling myself it’s okay to not be perfect.
Taking care of yourself not only helps you not to yell, but it also makes me happier, more relaxed, and more loving.
Ah, the benefits of not yelling extend far beyond parenting! There is no doubt that I am in a better parenting and personal place now that I don’t yell.
Just to name a few unexpected benefits of not yelling: I do more random acts of kindness, I handle stressful situations more gracefully, and I communicate more lovingly with my husband.
3. Ask the right question. Find out what is the child's problem.
Why does he the behave the way he does.
4. Minimize marriage spats. You and your spouse should agree to handle your next argument differently. Walk away from kids if you both are going to fight.
